I cleaned my room today

I planned to clean my room today… maybe I’m just in the mood. So I lay down on my bed and think… what’s the first thing that I would do??? Then I suddenly realized that I have to check my wallet to see if I still have cash… Fortunately there are still a couple of colored papers hanging around. I also then noticed that there are so many unnecessary stuff stuck in my wallet. So I decided to pull out everything except for my cash. There were too many receipts and papers that I need to get rid of. I’m the kind of person who likes to keep even the smallest paper for memory’s sake. So I ended up throwing all of them even though I kept them for a reason. Even the small papers and receipts bring back memories I should not be contemplating on anymore.

Then, I checked my cabinet and pulled out 5 boxes. Contained in these boxes are my personal and not so personal stuff. I open them once in a while for no good reason. The first box is full of stuff given to me by women I have been completely and partially have been involved with,, if you know what I mean,,, most of them are letters and pictures,,, the oldest letter that I kept was 7 years old,,,, the letter was dated October 3, 1999. Nokia is just starting to make its way to the public market back in 99’ and I still have a good picture of the 99’ era…. exchanging of letters back then is a cool thing before,,,, I guess =) I never threw those letters away because I consider it’s sentiment an important thing… I even read these letters BEFORE just for fun. Tonight I read them the last time….. I fully read some and just took a glimpse on some. Some made me laugh while some were a little bit depressing…. Back then when I read them, it’s just plain reading,,, but I guess this time is different because I completely decided to read the letters one last time. There were also some things in the box aside from the letters including gifts and pictures etc…

Inside the second box are pictures and mementos from friends. Lighters, condoms, can openers we stole, receipts again,,,,, condoms???? Anyways that was just for memory’s sake as what I have mentioned… =) I came across a picture of me and my high school friends.. it’s a Prom picture.. I grinned a little and abruptly realized that 90% of the people in the picture may (I can’t definitely say “is”) not be my friends anymore…. Sad but true…. I had an awesome high school life because of my friends… Who does not anyways

There are memories worth remembering but sometimes I do not have a good idea what are those… Moving forward and changing aint that easy but it is inevitable. Sometimes we just have to move on and leave the past behind which I had a hard time letting go. Use yesterday for a better tomorrow. I did not do that.

Hours in my room have passed and my room still looks rubbish.. Good thing is I have finally cleaned my past… “Cleaned” in a sense that I was able to recognize what should be left behind and what should be kept…

~ by jhaynonsense on October 27, 2006.